Letters To My Younger Self || Part IV

Dear Molly,

Now on to your first year of college.  GO DEVILS

First, don’t sign up for 18 credit hours your first semester.  I know you will have no idea what you’re doing at orientation when you sign up, but that is A LOT.  Commendable, especially since you scored your highest GPAs in college this year, but so not necessary.  Also – don’t even think about signing up for Friday classes.  You may be used to attending school five days a week, but in college – that’s entirely optional!  So repeat after me – NO FRIDAYS.  Oh…and NO 8 AMS.  PS Dropping classes just because they are too far of a walk across campus, aren’t near a Starbucks or Jamba Juice, or have interpreters signing at the front of the class for deaf students that distract you too easily are NOT valid reasons.

You’re going to meet one of your all time favorite teachers in your honors humanities classes.  You will learn a lot (and a lot will fly over your head at first) but luckily your professor will draw analogies between Buddha and the Enuma Elish with Dave Matthews and Disney movies to help it all click.  (Seriously, this happened.)  Don’t be intimidated or hesitant to share your opinions.  You’ll realize that in a lot of your classes, it’s not about having the “right” answer but more about engaging in a class wide discussion.  Enjoy it because these are going to turn out to be the most interesting courses of your college career.

You are going to love dorm life, but your first college rommate is going to be an anorexic/bulimic (yup, you can be both) skanky little bitch and she WILL STEAL YOUR STUFF.  So when your mom says “You don’t have to bring all of your good stuff to the dorm with you” – LISTEN!  You have to put up with her shit for a few months, both of your parents WILL get involved, and she will tell your parents about your fake ID (but you do a good job of convincing them she is just making that up).  BUT eventually you get to move in with roommate #2 who turns out to be one of your best friends in the entire world.  You guys will hate each other’s music but you will love everything else about each other for life.

Yes, you have a crazy meal plan, but stop eating total crap or you’re going to blow up.  Stop wearing J Crew flip flops because you will slip and fall going down the ramp when leaving your Econ class of 500+ people early.  I know it’s fun hanging out with a lot of the people you knew in high school but branch out a little more, please!  Stop cutting the guys’ hair on your floor – you’re not good at it.  You are going to suffer the loss of your oldest yorkie which is super super horrible – but I am just warning you now so you can tell people because when you’re down at U of A for Bid Night, a friend will ask about your dog and you WILL start crying (and they WILL remind you about that for years).  (RIP Max)

Don’t go to Rocky Point freshman year spring break unless you’re NOT going to flip your shit this time when a ton of money is jacked from the hotel room, some friends get arrested, and someone’s car gets stolen.  When you go to LA for the Price Is Right taping, you’re not going to get in unless you freaking spend the night on the sidewalk (no thanks).  But you will win a couple bucks on the Price Is Right slot machine in Palm Springs on the way home (which is almost the same thing, right?).  Oh yeah, and stop gambling so much.  Good lord, lady.  You are not a Blackjack master.  And finally, you can skip that “Let’s go to Nogales for the night” trip too - you just end up fighting with your boyfriend, sleeping in a bathtub, losing a friend somewhere in Mexico, and swearing off tequila for the next 7 years.

You’re going to make some trips up to Flagstaff to visit people at NAU and then make the decision to transfer up your sophomore year.  Good work.  That will be one of the best decisions of your life.  But until then, live it up at ASU.  Do yourself a favor - don’t dye your hair red again, grow up a little, and don’t ever forget what Tom Petty said…

“You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You’ll never remember class time, but you’ll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don’t have. Drink ’til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does…”


[[ Song of the day :: "Whistle" by Flo Rida :: random, I know ]]


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